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Just Figured out That My Wife Had an Affair - How Do I Handle This?

By Lauren Kadarren Subscribe to RSS | March 4th 2012 | Views:
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You have tried to do everything the right way in your marriage, then she messes things up with a horrible affair. Upon finding out your wife had an affair and broke the wedding vows, you are sure to experience a plethora of negative emotions relating to anger, sadness, betrayal and diminished self-esteem. If you still have love for her, that's okay, but you may also ponder how best to handle your negative feelings, since you just found out about your wife's infidelity. Are you going to pretend that you are not affected all that much, or are you going to let her know the real devastation her actions have caused to you and your marriage? We'll answer this right away, and talk about it in detail.

You are truly hurt by your wife's affair, right? Thought so. Time to let your wife know the pain her actions have caused. Don't worry about how she'll react. Tell her in no uncertain terms, exactly how you feel. That's right, she must know how much she has hurt you and your marriage with her horrific affair.

- On Being Violent -

Avoid hitting your wife at all costs. Just because your wife had an affair, does not make it right to hit her, or beat her. It will only serve to work against you. I should not have to mention the repercussions of doing such a thing.

- Unloading Verbal Ammunition Accumulated -

It's possible that you have observed your wife making some weird moves at some point. Chances are, it may concern the one your wife had an affair with to a certain extent. There probably is not a better time than now, to add those shady actions you have observed to the list of things to condemn her for, apart from her affair.

- Avoid These Don'ts If You Can -

Avoid, or don't go overboard with the name calling if you've got a loose tongue. This is not healthy, especially when you have minors living with you. Divorce, shouldn't be mentioned or discussed at this period of the ordeal.

- Don't Suppress Your Feelings -

The best way to deal with your feelings right now, immediately after the affair is to not bury them. Don't try to put on some fake face in this situation to pretend it isn't bothering you. If you're feeling to cry your heart out, don't think because you're a man that you shouldn't. You're going through anger, and sadness after finding out your wife had an affair? Why should you not be? The best way to process your emotions and the pain you're feeling right now, is to simply face them and let them out.

- "My Wife Is Telling Me That She Is Sorry" -

Your wife is probably begging for your forgiveness too. At this stage of processing your emotions, it is not yet the time to forgive. If given the chance she would've kept her affair a secret from you for an infinite amount of time. Don't counter her cheating on you by cheating on her, two wrongs don't make a right.

- Emotions as Time Passes -

There's nothing to haunt you like the current negative emotions, thoughts and visions, of your wife's affair. At some point, most of these feelings that you have, will not be as strong as time passes, and will eventually go away. Don't try to hold on to those feelings when they leave you, since it may prove detrimental to your mental health. On certain days, you may have a recurrence of bad feelings. If this happens, let them out. However, don't be angry or sad if deep down inside, you are not feeling it.

- Beyond The Initial Phase -

Marriages have stood the test of time, after someone's wife had an affair. You have to heal mentally, before you can work on healing your marriage. Unfortunately, it would be impossible to say how long it would take for you and your marriage to recover. It will not be easy, and cannot be rushed. It requires you both to constructively communicate and to reach a mutual level of understanding that was missing in the first place. Reaching that stage, you should be able to cope with your feelings and not let them spiral out of control, but at this moment, liberally let your wife know what she has put you through. When that period of getting over your feelings is complete, you can then work with your wife on marital recovery.

Lauren Kadarren - About Author:
- Get Out Of This Situation Quickly -

Click "my wife had an affair what do I do now" to get more free information on the next course of action to take.

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