Should Parents Involve in an Argument with their Kids
“Daughter- Mom, I want to go to the party today and I need a new dress. Mom- It’s last week only that I bought you a new dress. Daughter- No Mom, I already wore that in a party and all my friends saw that, so I need a new one. Mom- Every time I cannot afford a new dress for you; just wear that, otherwise be at home. Daughter- No Mom, this party is very important for me; so please provide me the new one. Mom- You know my answer and this time I won’t entertain your demands anymore. Daughter- (stamping her foot on the floor) Ok fine! Do whatever you want. I am not going to the party for sure and in future don’t expect me to fulfill your wishes also…”.
As parents, we often come across such arguments with our kids. In such cases, both the parties get disappointment only. The generation gap between the two causes such arguments to take place. As parents, we sometime become rigid and helpless. We intentionally don’t want to hurt them, but in a way or other we spoil their enthusiasm. A healthy argument can help the kids build their self esteem, where as an unhealthy one may be very destructive too.
Sometime arguments with the kids may undermine parental authority to the point where kids take their parents as adversaries rather than figures of strength to guide and support them.It is a universal human nature that we don’t want to be defeated by others; and it’s exactly true in case of parents and their children. As parents, it’s our responsibility to make children understand what is right and what is wrong. Before entering into an argument with the kids, we need to listen to them first. It’s not that kids are always wrong.
A responsive listening to the urges of the children may develop a stronger bond between the two generations. The point isn’t for parents to give up their authority but to use it to hear their children out before making what is ultimately a parental decision. The skill of responsive listening enables the parents to respond to their kids’ arguments without being involved into any kind of struggle. In a discussion with the kids, the elder ones should always keep it in mind that they aren’t young adults.
Kids, like all other human beings also want their voice to be heard. They are most affection loving and are also very much inclined towards their parents. The mom and dad is probably the most intimate relation to the children. They expect the elders to support them in every walk of life and when this expectation gets hurt, this creates a big gap in the relation. An interest in the child’s activities also helps parents to control them. One reason children doubt that we understand how they feel is that we fail to let them know that we heard them. Repeating your child’s position in your own words is the best way to let him know that you understand. The parent-child relation is the most divine relation in this universe; so it needs to be nurtured with love, affection and emotion.
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