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How Does Your Relationship with Your Partner Affect Your Parenting?

By Aidan Mitchel Subscribe to RSS | March 2nd 2012 | Views:
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Many believe along Parenting Blog that new parents experience the birth of a first child as a dilemma. The birth of a baby is a life-changing event, though many couples vow that a new baby will not change their lifestyles, but in reality, a baby changes everything.

Not only do you need to cope with the demands of practical parenting, you also need to adjust to the demands of your changing relationship. Add the fact that you’re both probably suffering from sleep deprivation and a variety of loses loss of your previous lifestyle and identity, income and financial independence and companionship and sexual intimacy, among others, it would not be a surprise that the pressure can cause previously wonderful relationships to dissolve into regular dueling matches.

So, does your relationship with your partner greatly affect your kids? What are its effects?

Though some arguments and disagreements are inevitable as they are a fact of life for almost everybody, however, the fighting doesn’t only affect you and your partner. Parental conflict can create confusion and conflict in children’s lives.

What should be done to avoid misunderstandings between your kids and your partner?

Children like adults can usually sense when something is wrong, particularly when it involves their own parents. Since the majority of human communication is non-verbal, tension and picking up signals from other people and situations is part of human survival, anger can readily be picked up at a sensory level by a child. Children are generally self-absorbed; they tend to think that everything is about them. So if a parent is angry, the child will often think that they have done something wrong even when it has nothing to do with them or their behavior. That's why one parenting advice says that it's often healthier for a child to see and hear their parents disagreeing in front of them. In this situation, they will be more likely to understand what's happening when it is out in the open and not be confused with what is happening and not be ambivalent that they are causing the argument.

But of course, this doesn't apply when arguments are violent, out of control and abusive. However, according to some parenting tips, frustrations between you and your partner can be made into an opportunity to model positive conflict resolution and communication that demonstrates love, respect, and trust.

So, if arguments do become violent, out of control or abusive, you should as much as possible avoid this or stop it immediately. As children do model their behavior to their parents, when they do see you arguing violently, they would copy your behavior.

Give yourself a time out. In this way, you can give yourself time to think on what went wrong. Take time to be alone for some time and rethink the entire situation. Time outs will help you to rebuilt trust and address the situation calmly. It will also make you realize that you love your partner and you can overcome the disagreement without creating the scene.

Once you had your breather, have a calm discussion with your partner. Discuss things out. One parenting advice is partner should keep quiet if other partner is getter angrier. You should always try to communicate the problem politely. If something really is troubling you, instead of having a row, you can sort out things calmly and talk.

In this way, you will be able to project to your kids the proper way to handle conflict. Learning how to handle the inevitable disagreements and disputes is part of growing up.

Learning about the negative side of life is an important skill to develop and take to adulthood. Once a child starts school and then college and work, it is inevitable that they would meet someone who is rude, or someone who disagrees with them or contradicts them. Being able to cope with this sort of situation without being devastated or traumatized by a negative response is a vital social skill and a major contributor to a person's emotional well being.

Aidan Mitchel - About Author:
Parenting Blog provides helpful parenting tips and information for pregnant women on how to stay healthy during Pregnancy. Let our articles answer all your questions and guide you through taking care of yourself and your baby.

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